Scared of Falling in Love
by Random Rockstar
Summary: [songfic] [one-shot] Shounen-ai. What do you do when you love someone, but are too scared to let them know? Or even too scared to let yourself know? [(Yami) Bakura/Yami (Yuugi)]


**Scared of Falling in Love  
One-Shot  
Songfic  
  
**_(a.n. – Hey hey everyone! I am back, with a short songfic. Well, actually – it's kind of long, but that's okay. Sorry that I haven't been updating in a while – I've been working on my **NEW** website – the link is www.bwah.dot.nu please check it out. It has my YGO Drinking Game up on it, in case anyone read that. It got deleted off this site. Thanks, and please read this and review.)  
_**Disclaimer: **I do not own YGO, or this song. YGO belongs to the dude who made it, and the song belongs to Ball in the House. Yes, yet another BitH songfic done by me. Please check out THEiR site: www.ballinthehouse.com Ja!  
**Key: **Anything written like 'this' is just, well, the normal story. Anything written like _//this// is the song lyrics, and anything written like __this is a flashback. _

**Written in Bakura's point of view  
**.~.  
_//I was taught, "Never show your feelings,"  
That's why it's so hard for me to talk to you.//_****

            I was standing outside in the mid-afternoon. Ryou had kicked me out of the house for the time being because I almost set his house on fire. I was only trying to make him an after-school snack. Who knew that ovens could be so dangerous? 

            Sighing, I admitted my defeat and decided to let Ryou mourn over his halfway destroyed kitchen for a while. I decided to go for a walk.

            When I was walking down one of the main roads in Domino, I saw that idiotic pharaoh standing outside of that lame game shop. Deciding that I didn't feel like talking to him, I kept my head downward as I walked past him.

            "Good afternoon, tomb robber." Yami sneered. Damn, I really hated him. He was only saying hello to me just to keep his polite, 'holier-than-thou' image going on.

            Naturally, I didn't answer him. 

_//I know, you're having a hard time dealing,  
Not sure what to say, or what to do.//_

            "What, no sarcastic remark?" Yami asked, sounding surprised as I brushed by him without speaking. I kept on walking without turning back.    

            I looked back out of the corner of my eye and saw that he looked a little sad. Stuck up asshole was probably just seeing what my reaction was.    

            I went to the local park, and when I saw that no one was there, I sat on the jungle gym.

            Many thoughts were flowing through my head. Why had Yami acted like he cared? Was he just acting? Why do I care so much? We did have something going on back in Egypt, but was that going to hold true now? I don't know if I feel the same way now, but suddenly I think that I might . . . 

_//When you reach for me, you're grasping at air.  
You tell me that you love me, but I'm not really there.//_

            I got snapped out of my thoughts when I noticed that someone was now sitting next to me. I looked up and saw Yami sitting there.

            "I said hello." He stated coldly. I didn't answer him. "I really don't appreciate it when you ignore me. I am here whether you like it or not."

            "Oh no, of course not! No one could ever ignore the high and mighty pharaoh! I should be bowing at your feet!" I rolled my eyes.

            "You never used to." Yami murmured slowly. 

            "Damn straight. And I never will."

            Yami sighed and a happy little smile appeared on his face.

            "What the hell are you smirking about?" I asked coldly, noticing this change in expression.

            "Nothing." Yami sighed.

_//I'm scared of falling in love, there I said it.  
I'm scared of falling in love, I might regret it.  
I'm scared of falling in love, but if I do,  
I pray to God it's with you.//_

            "You're obviously smirking about something." I wanted to know.

            "Not a whole lot has changed . . ." Yami started and I was a little taken aback that he was actually going to answer. "You always used to be this way, just a little bit different. I could always count on you to be my little grounding experience. That was one of the many reasons why I loved you." He finished, turning and looking me in the eyes. 

            I stiffened. Did he actually just say that? Hmph – he doesn't know what he's talking about. Time changes people, and I have changed. 

_//You gave your heart, but I pushed it right away,  
No words will come, despite how hard I try.//_

            "But some things never change." Yami said, seeming to have read my thoughts or something.

            "Well I have." I answered, hopping off the jungle gym and walking out of the park. 

            I didn't look back to see if he was following me, but something in the back of my head told me that he wanted to.

            After a couple of minutes of walking, I was having trouble seeing. I brought my hand up to my right eye and noticed that it was tears that were blurring my vision. 

_//I never gave us a chance, yet I begged for you to stay,  
With no good reason, no reason why.//_

            I stood still at the corner of two streets, contemplating everything that had just gone on. Why did I always hide my feelings? Was I really that scared of being with someone? No. I'm not afraid of ANYTHING. Especially that dumb pharaoh.

            He never used to be as annoying as he is now. Maybe that's because I don't love him anymore? Or do I . . .? No. I don't love him now. I don't love ANYONE. Especially not him, after what he did to me.

_            "Hey Yami!" A younger version of myself bounced around, "Do you have time to do anything with me today?"_

_            Yami only stared coldly at the wall before us. "I can't see you anymore. And don't ask me why – I do not wish to go into details."_

_            My once filled-with-love, brown, emotional eyes brimmed with tears, but I would not allow one transparent drop fall off my face._

_            "Oh . . ." Was my only mournful response. "You mean not today?"_

_            "Not ever."_

_            "Why not?"    _

_            "I told you not to ask me that!" Yami yelled, and eventually turned to face me. I could easily tell that he was trying not to cry as well._

_            "If you don't want to do it . . . then . . . don't." A pleading response came from me. _

_            "I-I have to . . . it doesn't matter what I want anymore."_

_            I was lost, trying to understand.         _

_            Yami obviously realized that I had no idea, for he said, "I'm in the public eye now. I'm the pharaoh of this land! People wouldn't expect me to me with someone like you."_

_            Words could never express the pain I felt right then. Is that really how he had thought of me all along?_

_            "Do you care that much about what the public thinks?"_

_            "Yes. I-I don't want them not to like me."_

_            He would have rather been popular than be with me. All the same, I still would not allow myself to cry over him._

_//My bags are too heavy, they're weighing me down.  
I can't see the beauty of the treasure I've found.//_

A lot has changed since then. Me, and supposedly him. He told me that after he had regained his memory. Most of the time I wish he hadn't. It only brings back the pain of those days.

            I wouldn't cry over him then – and I will not cry over him now. I don't want to be faced with the opportunity of being with him again; sometimes I wonder if he really as changed at all.

            Popularity over true love? Who would choose that? Well, apparently Yami would. Unless it wasn't true love . . . nah, it had to have been. So maybe this is our second chance? I don't know – I've lived with the philosophy that life gives no second chances. So therefore, I shouldn't be with Yami. Not that I want to be, anyway . . .

            I turned around, and I saw that he didn't follow me. I felt some sort of sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Did I actually want him to have followed me? I hope that's not what I wanted. I can't be going soft over some washed up has-been. Plus, I think that this proves that he hasn't really changed at all.

_//I'm scared of falling in love, there I said it.  
I'm scared of falling in love, I might regret it.  
I'm scared of falling in love, but if I do,  
I pray to God it's with you.//_

            I decided that Ryou shouldn't be mad anymore, and started walking back. I paused for a moment before going by the Game Shop, for I saw that Yami was already there – he either walked back a different way, or he walked by me and I just didn't see him.

            Either way, I shouldn't let him have such a weird effect on my life. I walked by with my head down once more, only lifting them up once, and getting a fleeting glace of his crimson eyes locked on mine.

            For that moment, I was mesmerized. I wanted to be with him again; go back to the way things were. I had changed, so maybe he was telling the truth in saying that he had changed after all.

_//And now I'm standing on the edge,   
If I don't jump – I'll never fly.  
Baby, if I fall  
Will you stay or say good-bye?//_

            One thing was right. Things HAD changed. So what makes me think that somehow things would rewind to the past? The past is gone, and so is my old self.

            I don't know if I'm just scared of being with him, or if I'm no longer able to love, but either way – I can't take this pain for much longer.

            For fleeting glances never last, and dreams pass us by. If we aren't quick, we'll miss them; I have missed mine, and I didn't even have a choice in the matter. I still have true love with him, yes, that I do. After all, true love . . . is letting go.

_//I'm scared of falling in love, there I said it.  
I'm scared of falling in love, I might regret it,   
I'm scared of falling in love, but if I do,  
I pray to God it's with you.//_

_(a.n. – Wahoo!__ Yet another story done. I actually liked this one – the ending, anyway. It was good – for anything I've ever written, which isn't saying much. 'That I do?' o0o0o – looks like I've been watching too much Rurouni Kenshin – don't own that either. Well, please review and check out my other stuff. Later.)_


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